How to Turn a Difficult Meeting into a Positive Experience

How to Turn a Difficult Meeting into a Positive Experience

s school leaders, we have all been there. We receive an email something like this:

“Dear Dr. Mosbacker, I would like to request a meeting this Tuesday. This meeting is regarding a series of concerning events that have happened with “name.” I am now asking for your involvement because I believe “name’s” actions have created harm by ….. I will be sending details to you prior to this meeting for you to review … I would like to meet before sending a letter to the school board….”

Receiving emails of this sort is never pleasant. The prospect of meeting with a disgruntled and sometimes angry parent is stressful.

The good news is that such meetings can be a positive experience—if handled well. Over the years I have found the following practices to result in positive outcomes more often than not.

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How To Reduce Stress in Your Life and Leadership

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This is a simple and personal article on how to reduce stress and live with less anxiety. There are no magic pills but there are reliable principles and practices. They are simple in concept but hard to consistently apply. But they work.

There are a lot of stresses in our lives. As superintendent of a large school I live with a degree of low level stress that can spike significantly depending on people and circumstances. As a human being I am daily confronted with the stresses of daily living—family, financial, social, and physical, not to mention the stress that can be brought to bear from national and international affairs.

As Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation.” But he also said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

I want peace and I bet you do too—especially peace of mind and soul.
Over the last several months the Lord has taught me how to biblically and effectively reduce stress and anxiety. I am learning to be at peace just a Paul learned to be content (Phil. 4:11).

I have come to realize and accept that I cannot avoid situations or people that produce anxiety and stress, I can only respond to them correctly or incorrectly, effectively or ineffectively, biblically or unbiblically.

Here are the simple principles I am learning to practice. Even though the circumstances have not changed, I have experienced much less anxiety when I focus on doing the following things.

Pray for Wisdom
This is a two-fold prayer for wisdom; the wisdom to respond to the situation correctly and the wisdom to deal with difficulties biblically. Wisdom comes from the illumination of the Holy Spirit applying God’s word to our minds, which requires that we make the study and memorization of God’s word a priority in our lives or we cannot have wisdom. Wisdom also comes from the counsel of spiritually mature and biblically literate Christians.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Rom. 12:2

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (Note that in context this verse is referring to the wisdom needed to respond to trials properly (See 1:1–4)

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17–18 (Note the characteristics of God-given wisdom)

A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory. Prov. 24:5–6

Learn to Listen
Listening is the handmaiden to wisdom. We cannot grow in wisdom and understanding if we focus on talking and defending. If one is to respond wisely to trials and tribulations brought on by the actions of others we must stop and listen honestly to what others are saying. Seek more to understand than to defend and explain. As Stephen Covey wrote, “seek first to understand and then to be understood.”

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19–20

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Prov. 10:19

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Prov. 17:27–28

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Prov. 27:6

Speak the Truth in Love
People are the primary source of stress and anxiety. Of course, we usually think that other people produce stress and that we don’t. The truth is that we also produce stress for others.

We make two mistakes in responding to the words and actions of others that produce stress in our lives. We avoid speaking the truth so we are not dealing honestly with others. We are avoiding conflict. We are more concerned with being comfortable than we are promoting truth.

Our other mistake is to permit the pendulum to swing in the opposite direction. We are quick to speak the truth but we are not motivated by the welfare of the other person; we are motivated by our welfare. We are not speaking the truth in a loving manner.

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Eph. 4:15

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Cor. 13:1

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Gal. 6:1

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Just Do the Right Thing
After praying for wisdom to know how to respond and after listening and speaking the truth in love, commit yourself to do the right thing, period. We are not responsible for the actions of others, we are responsible for ours.

But be careful. The right thing may not be what you perceive to be right. The right thing is what is right based on biblical principles and the wise, if uncomfortable, advice of others.

Doing the right thing may cost you. The right thing may require turning the other cheek. The right thing may be graciously and willingly submitting to authority even if you believe that authority is wrong. Doing the right thing may, and often does, require that you humble yourself. Doing the right thing may require giving up your rights, denying yourself. Doing the right thing most certainly requires holding your tongue and not gossiping about others and how they are mistreating you.

Just do what is right. We cannot control what others do. We can seldom control our circumstances. What we can control, as a Fruit of the Spirit, are our words and actions.

But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. Matt. 5:39–42

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor. James 4:10–12

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. Heb. 13:17

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil. 2:3–4

Trust the Lord’s Providence
After praying for wisdom, listening to others, speaking the truth in love, and then doing the right thing—leave the outcome to God’s wisdom, goodness, and providence. You have done what you can and should do, you must trust in and be willing to accept God’s providence even if it is a frowning one.

God does not promise that if we do the right things others will do right by us. He does not promise that if we do the right thing he will prevent bad things from happening to us. To the contrary, the Bible is very clear—the righteous often suffer unjustly. Accept it. Expect it. Even embrace it as good for you.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2ff

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Pet. 5:5–7

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:5–7

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come? Why should a living man complain, a man, about the punishment of his sins. Lam. 3:37–38

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider:God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him. Ecclesiastes 7:14

But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job 2:10

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die … a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1ff

Life is full of trouble and turmoil but our hearts and minds do not need to be troubled. We can reduce stress and anxiety in our lives but only if we apply biblical principles to our thoughts and actions:

  • Pray for Wisdom
  • Learn to Listen
  • Speak the Truth in Love
  • Do the Right Thing
  • Trust the Lord’s Providence

If you and I will learn to consistently apply these principles then we can learn:

not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:5–7

Shalom

18 Ways to Make YOUR Superintendent Very Unhappy

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Eighteen Ways to Make YOUR Superintendent Very Unhappy Guest Article, Bruce Johnson

Things brought to him as superintendent for almost three decades.

  1. Gossip in the Teachers’ Room and don’t hold anyone accountable for anything they say (and don’t let anyone hold you accountable for anything you say).

  2. Trust students (or your spouse) to keep confidences about other students or staff.

  3. Break confidences that you have with parents by “sharing” with other parents, co-workers or your spouse.

  4. Keep confidences you shouldn’t keep (moral, ethical, legal).

  5. Discuss students with other student’s parents.

  6. Miss deadlines for grades or reports – or anything else – if you feel you have something more important to do.

  7. Teach whatever you want to teach – regardless of the approved curriculum.

  8. Be tardy to devotions, staff meetings and class.

  9. Question everything – all the time – after all, you know better than anyone else.

  10. Tell everyone else before you tell your administrator any complaints you may have about the school or him – or her.

  11. Make excuses for your mistakes and never, ever take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

  12. Don’t volunteer for anything at any time, no matter how much everyone else is doing or how much your assistance is needed.

  13. Ask for special favors and exceptions to policies that apply to everyone else.

  14. Don’t dress or act professionally – and complain if you disagree with any guidelines, decisions regarding curriculum or anything else.

  15. Don’t be careful what you say or how you say it to students or your co-workers.

  16. Recognize that the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22,23 does not apply to you.

  17. Don’t be loyal to the Lord, or school, or each other.

  18. Remember that the school is fortunate to have you on staff.

8 Important Words to Use as a Leader

Communication TalkThe pen is mightier than the sword. Edward Bulwer-Lytton

My life was unalterably changed by a few words. I was, at the time, an average student. I did what was necessary to get by but my academic ambitions and motivation were limited.

None of my family had attended college and some had not graduated from high school. I never recall hearing the word college in my home. In fact, education was so undervalued in my home that I recall a time when my mother scolded me for using “big words” when I returned home during a college break.

Something remarkable had happened several years before this sad episode with my mother. As I recall, I was a ninth grade student standing in the lunch line when a student tapped me on the shoulder and pronounced, “You would make a great attorney.” The unexpected compliment arose from my performance in English class as the defense attorney defending Brutus’s participation in the assassination of Julius Caesar. Was Brutus a patriot or traitor? I argued that his actions were noble, animated by his desire to protect the Roman Republic from dictatorship. A jury of ninth grade English students acquitted him.

Those few words, “You would make a great attorney,” caused me to think about college for the first time in my life. From that point forward I applied myself to my studies and went on to earn a doctorate. My life would have been dramatically different but for those few words of encouragement.

The moral of this story is that words are powerful—they can change a life or a school for good or bad. The start of a new school year is a good time to consider the words we use as leaders. It is a good time to unsheathe your most powerful leadership tool—your words.

These words or communication traits will make you a wiser person and more effective leader.

Empathy

Strive to put yourself in the other person’s shoes no matter how obnoxious their words or actions may be. This will give you a better perspective. As Becky Gaylord points out: “empathy leads to rational, thoughtful solutions.” Empathy has a calming and a rational impact on any conversation and is consistent with these two biblical principles:

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Mat. 7:12

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil. 2:4

Employ the Wise Use of Humor

Appropriate humor reduces tension and can put all parties at ease in a difficult situation. Humor also makes for a more enjoyable workplace and is a great way to start a presentation. Interlacing appropriate and well timed humor into any conversation or presentation will increase effectiveness and help you connect with others.

Yes

No one likes to hear “no.” Although sometimes “no” is necessary, it is probably less necessary than you think. Sometimes we say “no” not because it is necessary but because it is easier. “Yes,” can create more work or complications for us. While saying yes may produce more work in the short-term, remember that a history of wise “yes” responses makes the necessary “nos” more palatable and leads to long-term positive relationships and school culture.

Please

No matter how exalted your position, “please” is almost always appropriate. Hopefully you learned this as a young child. Saying please is not only polite, it has the benefit of making it easier for people to accept a directive. While compliance may not be optional, saying please demonstrates courtesy and humility. Saying please makes it easier for others to comply willingly.

Thank you

Thankfulness is a constant theme in the Bible. We are admonished to be thankful and to express thankfulness. Never miss an opportunity to thank students, parents, employees, or vendors.

Listen, Really Listen

Our natural tendency is to talk. It is far wiser to follow the biblical command to “be quick to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19), which was paraphrased by Steven Covey who said, “seek first to understand and then to be understood.” Listening leads to understanding, empathy, and better decisions and relationships. Click here for tips on how to actively listen.

Trust

While a leader must avoid being uniformed or naive, start with trust. This is the position that great leaders start from when dealing with others. Assume the best, give the judgment of charity, for Paul writes:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor. 13:4–7

I am Sorry

Saying I'm sorry is the handmaiden of humility. If we are humble we will quickly acknowledge our mistakes and sins and readily apologize. Pride does not say I am sorry. Becky Gaylord is correct when she asserts, “This word has prevented lawsuits, mended friendships and almost surely avoided wars. Too many bosses don’t use it — or know the magic it can create. Great leaders know it, and use it.”

Your words are the most powerful leadership tool you have. Use them wisely.

What Can the People of Laish and Hobbits Teach Us?

clip_image002One of my favorite novels (and movie) is Lord of the Rings, a classic and wonderfully told tale of good versus evil. An interesting sub-plot in the Lord of the Rings is the danger faced by those living in peace and prosperity, oblivious to embedding doom. The Hobbits are peaceful and hardworking, blissfully ignorant of the rise of Mordor[1] and the danger that it poses to them and the inhabitants of Middle-earth.

There is a similar and troubling description in the Bible of another group of people living in peace and prosperity, unaware of their impeding destruction:

Then the five men departed and came to Laish and saw the people who were there, how they lived in security … quiet and unsuspecting, lacking nothing that is in the earth and possessing wealth … and how they … had no dealings with anyone ... But the people of Dan … came to Laish, to a people quiet and unsuspecting, and struck them with the edge of the sword and burn­ed the city with fire. And there was no deliverer because it was far from Sidon, and they had no dealings with anyone... (Jdg. 18:7; 27-28)

Lessons to be Gleaned from Hobbits and the People of Laish

Peace and Prosperity can be Dangerous

When our lives are characterized by peace, tranquility, and prosperity, we are prone to be lulled to sleep. The Hobbits were unaware of the looming danger and were not prepared for Sauron's[2] assault with his armies from Mordor. The people of Laish thought all was fine—their lives were quiet, peaceful, and prosperous. They did not suspect a thing—then, they were attacked and destroyed.

clip_image004This happened to Americans prior to September 11, 2001. Few suspected that evil men were planning to crash planes into the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon. Evil did strike—unexpected and horribly on a beautiful, peaceful September morning. Many lives were lost and destroyed.

What is true nationally is also true of our souls. Complacency through preoccupation with the material and temporal at the neglect of our souls leads to false security and spiritual danger. We naively assume that everything is fine when in fact we and our students face two mortal dangers.

Danger from Within

We have evil natures

In Genesis we read that Cain was angry when the Lord rejected his offering. God responds by saying to Cain:

If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it. (Gen. 4:7)

Our sinful natures are always crouching in our hearts—ready to destroy our testimonies, our marriages, our careers, and our students. We must be keenly aware of the sin within us that, like the dark forces of Mordor, seeks to rise from within to devour our lives. This is why Jesus taught us to pray: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Mt. 6:13) He also tells us to: “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mt. 26:41)

Self-deception

Peter was convinced of his loyalty to Jesus—he proclaimed confidently that he was willing to die for Jesus. Jesus knew Peter better than Peter knew himself.

Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. (Mt. 26:33-35)

The tendency for us to think more highly of ourselves than we should sets us up for failure. If we think we are strong enough to overcome our own sinful natures in our own strength we are destined to fail and to fall.

Dangers from Without

Satan is a real and active enemy

clip_image006Satan is not a metaphor—he is real. Satan is the Sauron of our souls. He seeks to destroy us by seducing our evil natures or through various trials and tribulations.

 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Pet. 5:8-10)

We must not, therefore, slip into a comfortable complacency. We must in fact be sober-minded and watchful—looking for Satan’s attacks and snares—from within and from without. He is crouching, looking, and ready to rip us and our students apart. He is ready to have us and them for dinner. Only the ignorant and complacent walk about unaware and unguarded.

Our Protection—Christ, His Word, and His Shepherds

In the end, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Pippin Took, and their allies saved Middle-earth and the Hobbits. In the end, only Christ, His Word, and His Shepherds will save us from dangers within and without.

Christ Prays for Us

Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers. (Lk. 22:31-32)

Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (Ro. 8:34)

The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. (Heb. 7:23-25)

We must pray for each other and our students

Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honored, as happened among you, and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men. For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things that we command. May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. (2 Th. 3:1–5).

Christ will finish what he has begun

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (1 Thess. 1:3)

We must work as God works in us to both will and to do

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Phil. 2:12-13)

We cannot isolate ourselves from the church

We cannot isolate ourselves spiritually like the people of Laish. The Bible describes them as having no allies, “And there was no deliverer because it was far from Sidon, and they had no dealings with anyone.” We need each other for encouragement and accountability. Attendance at worship and engagement in Christian community are essential. There are no Lone Ranger Christians. We need each other!

What This Means for Our Students

  • They must be taught not to flatter themselves. Contrary to everything they hear from the world, they are not good—they have sinful natures that will lead them astray and destroy them.
  • The world is not neutral nor a friend—the value system in this world is used by Satan to entrap and destroy. They must be alert to the dangers, they cannot be like Hobbits. They must lean on Christ and his word so that they are “not conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of their minds.”
  • They must nourish their souls in God’s word and through engagement with God’s people. A malnourished improvised soul is no match for a sinful nature, Satan, or his allies in this world.

[1] Translated Black Land or Land of Shadow and in Chinese “a place where demons are many.”

[2] Tolkien noted that the "angelic" powers of his constructed myth "were capable of many degrees of error and failing,” but by far the worst was "the absolute Satanic rebellion and evil of Morgoth and his satellite Sauron.

When Times are Difficult Consider Said Musa

Mean_Angry_Call_Phone_Cell_Yell_ConflictLeading a school can be a tough business!  I joke with my parents that my job is easy;

I only deal with people’s children, money, and religion!

People can be complainers, inconsiderate, gossips, stubborn, resistant to change, and just downright mean and ornery.   Such people can make our jobs and lives miserable.

Before you and I start feeling sorry for ourselves, consider Said Musa’s situation.  After reading of his plight I believe we will gain a little perspective on our troubles.

Said Musa’s Story

A terrible drama is unfolding in Afghanistan: There are reports that Said Musa, whose
situation I described at Christmas, will soon be executed for the ‘crime’ of choosing to
become a Christian. (For background, see here.)

Musa was one of about 25 Christians arrested on May 31, 2010, after a May 27 Noorin TV
program showed video of a worship service held by indigenous Afghan Christians; he was
arrested as he attempted to seek asylum at the German embassy. He converted to Christianity eight years ago, is the father of six young children, had a leg amputated after he stepped on a landmine while serving in the Afghan Army, and now has a prosthetic leg. His
oldest child is eight and one is disabled (she cannot speak)
. He worked for the Red Cross/Red Crescent as an adviser to other amputees.

He was forced to appear before a judge without any legal counsel and without knowledge of
the charges against him. “Nobody [wanted to be my] defender before the court. When I said
‘I am a Christian man,’ he [a potential lawyer] immediately spat on me and abused me and
mocked me… . I am alone between 400 [people with] terrible values in the jail, like a sheep.”
He has been beaten, mocked, and subjected to sleep deprivation and sexual abuse while in
prison.
No Afghan lawyer will defend him and authorities denied him access to a foreign
lawyer.

Any and every human being who is imprisoned, abused, or tortured for the free and peaceful
expression of their faith deserves our support, but Musa is also a remarkable person and
Christian. In a letter smuggled to the West, he says, “The authority and prisoners in jail did
many bad behavior with me about my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. For example, they did
sexual things with me, beat me by wood, by hands, by legs, put some things on my head.”
He added a thing much more important to him, that they “mocked me ‘he’s Jesus Christ,’
spat on me, nobody let me for sleep night and day… . Please, please, for the sake of Lord
Jesus Christ help me.”
(See the full letter here)

He has also stated that he is willing to give his life for his faith. “Please, please you should
transfer me from this jail to a jail that supervises the believers… . I also agree … to sacrifice
my life in public [where] I will tell [about my] faith in Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, [so]
other believers will take courage and be strong in their faith.”

… The Wall Street Journal reports that “Afghan officials have been unapologetic:

The sentence for a convert is death and there is no exception.

said Jamal Khan, chief of staff at the Ministry of Justice.

They must be sentenced to death to serve as a lesson for others.

Here is Said Musa’s handwritten letter (click on the image to see a larger version).

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Our Response:

  • Let’s pray consistently for Said Musa and other persecuted Christians.
  • Tell these stories to our students so that they understand the price that many Christians are called to pay to follow Jesus—a price that we and they may be called upon to pay as well.
  • Use this story in Bible classes, chapels, and staff devotions as an antidote to the false prosperity “gospel.”
  • Our struggles are real and they hurt but keep them in perspective.  Said Musa lost a leg, has a disabled daughter, has been imprisoned, beaten, humiliated, spat upon, and abused.  He will likely be executed for being a Christian.  There is no hint of blaming God, claiming God is unfair, etc.  Instead, he is willing to die publically to be a witness for Jesus.  I don’t know about you, but my meager struggles pale in comparison—in fact there is NO comparison.
  • Let us learn to suffer hardship, of whatever sort, for the sake of serving Christ and his kingdom in and through our schools.  May God grant us the grace to joyfully endure hardship and to be counted worthy to suffer for his sake.  May we mirror Said’s commitment to Christ before our students and parents.

How to Turn Thermometers into Thermostats

Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. (Amo 5:23-24)

Thermostat_Temperature_ThermometerAs we consider our mission as Christian school teachers and leaders, and reflecting on the BCS Mission “to… equip each student to glorify God by responsible action in contemporary society” the question arises, “are our students thermometers of culture or thermostats?”  I fear that too many of our students (a nd too many of us) are thermometers, merely reflecting the moral temperature of our culture rather than changing it.

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.  (Mat 5:13-16)

Reflecting on the compelling need by God’s grace to help our students become thermometers rather than thermostats, I am reminded of Martin Luther King Jr.’s words in his Letter from Birmingham Jail:

There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators"' But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated." By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests…

How do we help our students/children become thermostats rather than mere thermometers?

1) PRAY—only God can change minds and hearts: “So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” (1Co 3:7)

2) Study God’s word as we cannot be holy vessels without it and we cannot give what we do not possess: “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (Joh 17:17); “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Rom 12:2)

3) Be relevant—meet students where they are and then, in love, share the application of God’s word with them—but not always didactically.  Have your students wrestle with current and difficult political, scientific, moral issues—don’t spoon feed—teach them how to cook and how to eat, using God’s word as the recipe.

4) Be steadfast and patient—“ And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Gal 6:9-10)  “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.” (Jas 5:7)

It seems wholly appropriate on MLKJ Day to reread Martin Luther King Jr.’s Letter from Birmingham Jail.  Setting aside any and all political considerations, there is much to commend this letter.  I recommend that you reread it in its entirety if you have not done so recently.

The Power of Relationships and School Culture

Reflections about Relationships, Dr. Kynerd (Chancellor of Briarwood Christian School)

These brief Reflections are offered to encourage you to have the Lord as your shepherd, remain faithful to honor Him in the ways you handle relationships, respond to each relationship opportunity with confidence and security rooted in God, remember God’s sufficiency, and be grateful for the gift of each day.

1. People are more important to God than anything. John 3:16. Therefore Christian school workers must honor people in ways consistent with God’s love for people. Honoring people as a reflection of our love for God becomes a cornerstone for building a grace community. Love one another. John 15:12.

2. Every School worker is confronted with challenges, tension, disappointments, conflict, etc. We reveal our view of God by how we receive issues and by how we respond to the issues and the people God connected with them! Matthew 6:25-33 invites us to trust God. The alternative is to trust ourselves and/or the circumstances. Initial indicators of trusting self/circumstances are worry, criticism, complaining, or feeling underappreciated! An initial indicator of trusting God is to immediately ask “Father, what would you have me learn from this and would you guide my response?” Run from self to God!

3. Dr. Harry Reeder, pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church, says “One indicator of our reverence for the Lord is how we treat one another.” How are students, teachers, staff, parents, and visitors treated at your School?

4. When communicating with people “Say what you mean, mean what you say but never be mean or convey criticism in what you say.” Each contact, personal and impersonal, provides a discipleship opportunity. May we see our opportunities and responsibilities as treasured gifts from God.

5. How you respond to people and tension defines your view of people and of excellence and will have life changing impact person by person. What happens at school will last to eternity and it may impact which eternity a person has.

6. How you do what you do will define the School’s culture! School culture has an overwhelming influence on defining School success and advancement! Love Never Fails.” I Corinthians 13:8. James 1-3 instructs us in needed wisdom.

The leadership of the School plays the determining role in how people will be viewed and if God’s perspective about people will be the School’s practice with people! May we honor God by trusting and loving Him, by our dependence on Him, and by growing in gratitude to Him for people.